Midnight Reflections

Warning: This is a long post, written during one of my many insomnia attacks.  It is full of ramblings and reflections of a mother to be who wants to sleep but just can't.


I have been on bedrest since I got pregnant.  With less than 1 month to go, it seems I will still be until I give birth. I was diagnosed with placenta previa since my first trimester and this causes my scary moments-the spotting incidents. Good thing I resigned already from my job or else, it would have been very stressful.  My Indian boss wouldn't let me at first and offered various working arrangements, including a work from home set-up.   The work from home set-up would have been great but with our OB's advise, I knew from the start that this will not be a normal pregnancy.  Bibi and I decided if we are really serious with our pregnancy plans given all the emotional, physical, financial investment plus other factors involved in this pregnancy, then we should try our best to make our situation conducive to become pregnant and carry our baby to term. Now, I could not imagine how I could work from home when I always have contractions when I use my laptop - and I am just surfing the net!  I could not go around our small condo unit without using a wheelchair.  Good thing I have my ancient but trusty PDA but I think it cannot replace the laptop for work.  I really admire women who are able to work until they go to labor, which I thought I would be one. But reading pregnancy articles made me realize no pregnancies are the same, even if the mother is the same.  What more if different mothers are involved?  Some thought my resignation is going overboard but I just have to follow my instincts.  With all these, I feel very blessed that Bibi is my husband who is very much involved and supportive of my pregnancy. He has been spoiling me ever since we got married more than 6 years ago. With all the treatments, hospitalization even my mood swings, he is still very patient and understanding.  I know how far he would go for me... 


In one of my surfing sessions, I came across this:

"The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices."

http://www.babycenter.com/0_forty-two-things-that-change-when-you-have-a-baby_1452535.bc

Just looking at the 3D pictures of my unborn child already makes me feel that way...